Woke up this morning just like any day
Hopped on Facebook to tell a friend “Hey!”
Then I saw on his wall something I had not sought,
He loved his girlfriend, and man, (he said) was she HAWT!
That’s cute, I thought, and switched to the feed,
And got blasted with stories of conjugal needs!
It all hit me like a ton of bricks,
Statuses filled with relational bliss!
Thirty-two friends with the best girl, EVER!
Forty-nine pics with faces of laughter.
And then as obnoxious as an ill-timed fart,
Every message they gave ended with a heart!
Sappiness stretched as far as I could see,
And I said aloud, what could this be?
Then realized, much to my dismay,
It must be Singles Awareness Day!
I logged off my account without feeling bitter,
Even though my plans for the day were withered
With any friends who had found a mate.
“Fine!” (I sniffled) “I’ll have fun without a date!”
So I bought some ice cream (a pint seemed right)
And got together with friends for a Bro Night.
We ate and joked and watched TV
And properly celebrated S.A.D.