Facebook or Failbook?

19 04 2012

So, I was thinking about my love/hate relationship with Facebook. Sure, it looks great on the surface- stay in touch with friends, discover new friends, stalk that one person you could never actually get a date with, etc. As a PR major, I’ve heard enough about how to use Facebook that I honestly think I could rebuild Facebook if the need ever came up.

 

Thanks, Captain Facebook Man!

 

However, sometimes it seems like for every little puppy Facebook gives you, there’s a whole shoe full of puppy poo. Take for example the multitude of mandatory changes that Lord Zuckerberg has imposed, such as the new timeline. Not only is it a stalker’s dream, Facebook also changes your page for you if you refuse to change it yourself, despite the majority of users crying out in terror before every change. It’s not that Mark and Co. don’t care, it’s just that they don’t seem to need to care. Think about it. Everyone and their dog now has a Facebook. No one wants to leave and find several hundred friends over again on some obscure new social site (what’s up Google +). It’s like trying to move a giant party’s location midway through; too many people are already there, and they probably couldn’t figure out how to get to the new spot anyway.

 

Leave?! I just learned how to poke!

 

However, some people are leaving¬†altogether for other reasons. What if you have friends who have a more exciting life than you? “Oh, look, Annie’s taking another trip to LA…she met Tom Cruise…he told her to stop spying on his Scientology ritual. What was I going to post about, again? Oh yeah, I finished reading a book.” ¬†I’ve heard this called Facebook depression, and it’s pretty widespread.

 

Tom Cruise

"Next we either need a young virgin or your bank account number."

 

There’s also the endless “friend” spam that we willingly sign up for. You know, stuff like, “Help me with this survey! It’s really tedious and pointless, and I never talk to you for any other reason, but I’m really lazy!” Or maybe, “John Boy is listening to “Pocketful of Sunshine” on Spotify!” You know, stuff you’d smack a person for if they had called and just told you out of the blue. And don’t even get me started on the fun single people have reading their friends’ endless proclamations of love for each other.

All this said, I don’t see my profile going down anytime soon, at least until Facebook becomes the new MySpace.

 

Condescending Wonka will take us home.





Wrath of the Tibetans

10 04 2012

This past weekend I had the opportunity to see the newest sequel-to-a-remake/reboot, known as Wrath of the Titans, or “Wrath of the Tibetans,” as my all-knowing auto-correct on my phone decided it to be. Phones think they know what we want to say; well why on this green earth would it think I wanted to invite my friends to watch a movie about wrathful Asians, when there’s a movie out there starring Liam Neeson as Zeus?!

Kim Jong Un

Yes I know North Korea is not Tibet, but I wanted to use this again.

 

Anyway, if you haven’t seen this epic masterpiece yet, what are you waiting for? This should be number one in the box office! Well if you think I was being serious, I’m NOT. I’m joking, this movie is as disappointing as bubble wrap that doesn’t pop. It barely even delivers on the end credits.

 

Approach that mountain of CGI, full speed!

 

Look, I wasn’t looking for poetry in the cinema, but this flick doesn’t even try. Wrath? Epic tale? How about boring in an epic way? That’s right, BORING. With a poster like that! And chock-full of CGI monsters/battles! Did I mention Liam Neeson is Zeus? Well it doesn’t matter, because nothing in this whole movie seems to matter. The characters are pretty thin, or just don’t make sense (really, Perseus? You’d rather FISH all day instead of riding a BLACK PEGASUS around? Am I supposed to be cheering for this guy?). Thus, when they die, good or bad, I found it hard to care, though I think the filmmakers just cared about the action scenes.

 

Liam Neeson at the TIFF premiere of The Other ...

PIKA-FIRE-LIGHTING!

 

But that’s what everyone wants to see these days, right? Action? Yeah, it’s here, but there’s so much CGI and crap that usually it’s impossible to know where anyone actually is in relation to other armies. The accompanying soundtrack is typically bland, and would have been improved by just pasting “Duel of the Fates” over their so-called epic music. Not to mention everything is far too predictable, so there’s not even an element of danger here, if the audience took time to care. I think at the end of the day, most people were questioning why this movie even came along. It’s a sequel to a OK remake, and honestly it’s the same movie with more CGI and a whiny hero who just wants to stay in his peasant village and fish instead of embracing his supernatural powers and FLYING HORSE.

 

Seriously, at least ride your flying horse to work every now and then.

 

I think Wrath of the Tibetans would have been more interesting.