One Fanboy’s Reaction to Disney’s Star Wars

1 11 2012

NOOOOOO

Short version of this article.

 

Tuesday’s news that Disney now owns Lucasfilm, and thus Star Wars, came charging out of nowhere like a stampeding Bantha. Everything’s up for grabs now, and a new trilogy is in the works. But is this a victory for the light or the dark side?

 

George Lucas and Mickey

Before Tuesday, this would have been a Photoshop.

 

At first, I was all like, “Don’t touch my childhood! What if they ruin the original trilogy and make disappointing movies…oh, wait. Never mind.”  Let’s be serious, what’s the worst that can happen? Star Wars completely sells itself out? Bad dialogue? Jar Jar? C’mon, it’s all been done, and I really don’t see Disney possibly letting down fans any more than George Lucas arguably did. Expectations are incredibly low, especially with Mickey Mouse piloting the Death Star.

Let’s not forget Disney’s idea of a “space epic.”

 

However, I’m not sure anything Disney comes out with could even gain the same  “wow” effect level, even with Star Wars fans. Ignore all other factors besides story- director, actors, cinematography-everything. There’s only so many routes they can take.

Perhaps the most dominant theory is a Return of the Jedi sequel trilogy, (the new movie’s already referred to as “Episode VII”) and this is even hinted at by Mark Hammill. But here’s a problem! Carrie Fisher, Mark Hammill, Harrison Ford, and very much Carrie Fisher are all old. Ford still does movies, and Hammill does Joker voicework, and Fisher is doing… (cricket noises). My point is, it’s been a while, and even though some works go into the years after ROTJ that feature an older Luke, Leia, and Han, I’m not sure that’s what fans want, and less want a movie with digitally-younger actors (hello, Tron!). Not to mention every one of those stories eventually turn into the same plotlines of the original trilogy (sith take over, new killer space weapon, the fall and redemption of Skywalkers), so it’d be a strange case of deja-vu.

The other option would be the (bloated) expanded universe of Star Wars, told through such non-canon media as comics, cartoons, books, video games, and the prequel trilogy (ha!). I admit, there’s vast potential here, but at the end of the day, it’ll be hard to put it on the same level as the two trilogies, which for all their problems tell a single epic dealing with the Skywalkers, and the absence of Vader or Obi-Wan or Luke would be a giant zit on whatever polished story they conceive. That’s at least what it would be to anyone who hasn’t been exposed to anything but the movies.So, at the end of the day, I gotta admit the idea of a new trilogy is exciting, but there’s a lot of gas in this burrito. Unless, of course, they follow my fail-proof idea- make the “new trilogy” a reboot of the three prequels. And Maul lasts all three movies. And kills Jar Jar Binks. Violently.

 

Jar Jar Killed by Darth Maul

Here’s one suggestion.

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