Why Outcast May Be This Year’s Best Worst Movie Ever

26 08 2014

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Judging from the new trailer, Outcast is the answer to the question, “Will Nicolas Cage ever stop starring in horrible movies?” No. The answer is no. If you haven’t already, check out the amazing trailer below. If you have seen it already, watch it again, because you can never watch too many train wrecks. Don’t worry- I’ll wait.

 

 

Now that we’re all either laughing our faces off or heading to the antidepressants aisle, let’s talk about this giant dump Hollywood is about to unleash on us. First observation- Nicolas Cage is still broke and needs money. Second observation- Hayden Christensen has literally gone from starring in Star Wars to co-starring in…well, a Nicolas Cage movie. His haircut alone reeks of broken dreams. That’s quite a fall from grace, but honestly, doesn’t he deserve it after his whiny portrayal of pre-Vader?

However, unlike Hayden, none of us either asked for or deserved this lingering dog fart of a movie. Next year, when this movie releases, the good citizens of this nation will be going about their business, when BAM! Nicolas Cage appears with a horrifying case of stink eye and a terrible accent  (“ow’d you find me, boyh?”). But hey, at least it’s another story about how Western Caucasians can save those poor Easterners! Heck, Cage (playing a former European Crusader) is probably better at martial arts than those guys too, because at this point, why not?

So why will I still probably watch this once it reaches RedBox? Because bad Nicolas Cage movies can be hilarious. I watched Stolen and it was side-splittingly awful, and he wasn’t even squinting with one eye the whole time pretending to be British. Also, consider how Hayden’s inability to  act could mix with Cage’s crazy over-acting. There’s no way even Disney World could rival that kind of movie magic.

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