News in Review

12 01 2012

This week in politics, something worthwhile finally emerged from the Republican debates as Newt Gingrich told Romney to “drop the pious baloney,” giving the meme-fascinated society something to beat around for a while.


English: Newt Gingrich at a political conferen...

Yeah! I'll have some pious bacon too!


In sports, Tim Tebow averaged 31.6 yards per pass and gained an overnight rating of 31.6, clearly in direct defiance of NFL’s regulation against Tebow’s John 3:16 face paint.

Also,  LSU’s football team  remains stuck in New Orleans ever since someone put a 50 yard line in front of the bus.


English: Tim Tebow, a player on the Denver Bro...

No Tebowing for LSU.





In world news, Dear Leader Kim Jong-il finally sprouted glorious wings of diamond rubies and flew to the heavens leaving a trail of rainbows and purity. Luckily his son Russell, a rising boy scout, has become the new glorious successor.



Need Help Crossing the Southern Border?



Finally in entertainment, Cee Lo Green enrages John Lennon fans by changing a lyric in his performance of “Imagine” at NBC’s New Year’s Eve broadcast from Times Square, confirming to skeptics that somebody actually watched the show.


Kim Jong-il reportedly was too busy creating wondrous new galaxies to view the show.